Were  I to state my driving force, I would say, “I want to create beauty in all things,” or more accurately, re-create beauty, as nature cannot be improved upon, not in color, scheme, balance or soul.  The best I can do is express my unique ‘take’ on it. That is also my challenge; to break out, be brave, and trust my vision.

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I came to art late in life, although I had always been creative. My background is in psychology, predominantly creating a self-actualization workshop for women. Part of that work was to guide women to their lost selves, and oftentimes, the search lead all the way back to childhood; finding their bliss, as Joseph Campbell called it.

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That was true for me as well. As a child I could be found with my head in a color book or drawing pad delighting in the many colors of crayons. There weren’t enough colors to satisfy me. Creatively, I was freer then, proud of the stories behind my scribblings, and I had a good audience in my mother who thought everything I did was ‘genius.’ 

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But as happens, when I got older, my inner critic took over and

” Not good enough,” was my constant companion. I developed the belief that only special people were born to be artists or performers, and I simply was not one of those. I was to lead a life of desire and frustration.

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The wonderful thing about aging that no one tells us is, at some point, we have nothing to lose. We no longer care who likes what we do. We just like doing it. I began to challenge my belief system and started playing with watercolors; something that mystified me my entire life. “How do they do that?” I always marveled.

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After many hits and misses, I discovered an amazing online course and teacher: Anna Mason. She alone showed me I could do watercolors believably, if not as professionally as she did them. It was a great break through moment. It was enough to satisfy me. In time, I found myself wandering off to explore faces versus flowers. I’ve always been drawn to the stories faces tell, especially in the elderly and multi-culturally. I surprised myself when I completed one I truly loved. That was my real beginning.

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In the last couple of years the challenge of oil painting has called to me; another creative outlet I thought beyond me, especially in portraits. I’m still learning, studying, throwing a lot out, listening to my inner voice that tells me to, “Break out. Do you.” Sometimes I do.

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I read somewhere that Georgia O’Keefe came to this point in her career when she was told to stop copying others and trust her own creative view. She burned all the paintings she had done to that point and from then on  she dared to be different. The people she had copied are no longer remembered. She’s an icon to this day.

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Part of growing in art, any art, is sharing what we create. Many voices nudge me to do the same, not for approval or payment, but for personal validation. It takes a bit of courage to expose ourselves in this personal way, but it is also empowering, the very thing I taught in my workshops.

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The journey is ongoing, and I hope to present my progress in these pages. I hope, also, to encourage others to be brave with their creations and to stand behind them. After all, our art is a reflection of our selves and shouldn’t we all be proud of that?

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